Life

Well, it's 10pm and I actually get to go to bed in a few minutes. yeah. Now, its not like I've finished all my homework or anything but I am choosing to skip out on a little of it. Education is good but at my age and position, straight A's aren't really necessary or even the best use of my time sometimes. I work for UT (as you know) and I hear alot about how you can't survive in this day and age without a college degree. I kindof wonder if one day I'll wake up and find I am not able to live b/c I don't have a degree. I hope not. My passions and my dreams don't seem to go along very well with getting a 4 year degree but I do kindof wish I had gone ahead and got one when I was younger just to say I had it. I don't know. It's kind of dumb I guess. I do wonder if my financial bottom will fall out one day though. Which then makes me think of having a life partner or something. Not that having someone would really solve everything or anything but atleast we'd be in it together. But then they'd probably die so then that would be expensive and sad and all that. Wow, this blog is going darker than I had expected.

So, really what this blog was suppose to be was a quick run down on my weekend and thoughts. I used to email Jenni every monday (or almost every week) and tell her how my weekend was while she was in Amsterdam. Now that she's here I don't really do that anymore. So last week I went to go see Jonah Werner play at the Cactus Cafe. I was hoping people would be interested in going but the few people I asked weren't interested/able so I went by myself. I've started doing that more lately as its just how stuff ends up. Jonah was fun. He's kindof a christian summer camp music guy type. Not that his stuff was that christian but thats just the vibe you got from his clean campy lyrics and all the christian frat boys and baptist girls that were there. He's pretty entertaining and tells lots of stories that go along with his music so its cool. Totally not a guy that our guy friends would like though. And honestly I may be the only one in our circle that would like him. Oh well. Thats ok. I've been encouraged my Renee to find and embrace who i am and do what I want, stop waiting around for everyone else. Ok, she might have used other words but I think thats the idea.

What else have I done lately. I am skipping all the school work as thats not that interesting. Friday night I went and had tea with some friends. Was a good time. We got into a political discussion that I thought was fine. Others found it difficult. I guess I didn't feel the same way about it. I thought everyone brought up good points and enjoyed the open conversation, even though I didn't feel I had much to add to it. I am still researching the candidates and haven't made up my mind. I think both are going to do really sad and hurtful things to the nation so I just have to find the one that will hurt the least. And even then, I might choose wrong. I am still glad I am an American anyway. Saturday morning I had a photoshoot with a family up in Round Rock. I got lost on the toll road but found the house eventually and had a good shoot. It was a family with two little boys. One 3 and one 3 months. Good stuff. I then took a little nap and then headed back up to Round Rock to the Dell Diamond for the gateway celebration. I hung by myself a few hours listening to bands and then ran into a old friend who was a photo client years ago and we've run into each other over the years. So we talked a little and then I hooked up with the Johnsons and Peelers and ate a corn dog the size of Walmart. When they say Texas Size they mean it. It was like 15" long, Huge I tell ya. We listened to Wideawake but the sound seemed a little off. The lead guy is still trying to pull off wearing a vest. I am not sure that works for him but whatever. Was good seeing them. I walked by the drummer Matt later and was going to say hi but totally chickened out. I am sure he'd remember me as I went to like every show when he played in Chapter 41 and there were usually only like 15 people there so I'd be hard to forget, but he's kindof a rockstar now so I got all shy or something. Oh well. So, I've hung around some of the gateway crowd for years now but haven't really clicked with any of the girls yet. Hopefully I'll click and find some cool girls at some point. I just want someone to initiate and act atleast somewhat interested that I am there. But the exact thing I want is exactly what I don't do with those new people I run into in life. And i do have a casual friendship with the wives of the Stereovolt boys so that's a start. I just don't think I'd full out commit and go to Gateway unless I clicked with people (specifically girls) there. Ofcourse I do know that unless I get involved with a small group there I won't Really meet people there. And I am not quite ready for a small group. I have too many issues right now.

Sunday a few of us went and gave blood. i was hoping for a bigger turn out but whatever - I am glad Amy and Renee came and Blanca was there for support. I hate needles and giving blood but I feel its important so I do it. I think I was feeling really frustrated Sunday, but as renee has taught me, "it is what it is." The only person I am in control of is myself - and even then, I question that sometimes.

Well, i said I was going to bed so I better go. Good night.
i am really fine. really.
I wish I could have the faith and joy that Martha has right now but thats just not where I am right now. Its really encouraging to read her blogs and talk with her. Hopefully we'll hang out soon. ok, good night, really.

School

So, school is not full out kicking my butt but close some days. I've been exhausted lately (not sure exactly why) so I put off a project that is due tomorrow til the last minute. Which is not like me but I don't really feel that bad about it. I had planned it out so when I sat down to do it it only took about 4 hours. It was a photo project for my art history class - my teacher doesn't know I am a photographer so maybe that will help in some way. The assignment was to take pictures illustrating 14 design principles like movement, space, scale, etc... First we had to pick a theme and subject. here are a few of the pics that I liked.
here's movement with a lime splash.
A little "emphasis" with a key lime.
Lime slices showing shape.

So, there you have it. I am going to bed now. Maybe I'll fill you in on the rest of my weekend another day. :0)

Quote

"Christ will never be cool. Terrifying, life-changing, shocking, and iconoclastic, but never cool. Jesus is not my homeboy. The Gospel will always be "relevant" but never trendy. "

violence

Over the weekend I got the new Paste magazine in the mail and its an issue on violence. Violence in video games, movies, music, comedy, books, and the church among other things. Some of it was pretty hard to read but the articles really made you think. What's up with all the violence portrayed everywhere? There are/were photographers famous for taking photographs of murders. Some of the more disturbing shots (too me) were not the photos of the murders but the photos of the peoples reaction around the murder. And honestly, I am not what my reaction would be if I came across a murder scene. We see so much violence in movies, TV, ect that I doubt I'd think it was real. And from the pictures I've seen of actual murders, most of them are pretty tame compared to whats on TV.

The article on video games was good too. I know boys have some kind of weird wiring that makes them want to conquer and destroy things, so I kindof get the war and violent video game thing. But for the most part I don't see it as a good or healthy outlet, esp for young boys. The games are so realistic now that even the military uses them to train soldiers with. The article mentions how games like "America's Army" (which was created by the US govt) "are so good at indoctrinating players with values prized by the military: discipline, conformity, obedience and a willingness to repeatedly preform arcane tasks to minute specifications." I hadn't really thought of it like that.

And then there was an article on comedy and the violence in slapstick comedy. How we laugh when a character gets hurt or attacked. For most of us we were introduced to it at a young age watching Wille Coyote. I actually never thought that show was funny, seriously. I have trouble with Seinfeld too b/c nothing ever turns out right (or my idea of right). I get so stressed out watching stuff like that.

I know this blog is all over the place but its late and I am getting tired. I'll leave you with a few quotes I thought were interesting:

"I completely understand why people resort to violence, it's like, if you don't have the language and the capacity to formulate thoughts about what you are feeling, you can't properly feel it, so you have to physically feel it."

"We are afraid of pain or assault b/c we associate it with instant closure."

"She discussed her fascination with the more gruesome things on TV. 'Look at Law & Order SVU. I love that show. It's the most depraved thing - every week a new story line about a sick bastard who tortures children.'"

"And ofcourse, she saw churches - at the center of every one, a man being tortured to death."


And one last thought that kindof goes against this post. Did you read the news story about the dad that heard a noise in his teenage daughters room, opens the door to see a naked guy he didn't know (who happened to be his daughters boyfriend who the dad wasn't even aware of), so the dad beats the boy out of the house with a pipe and is now facing criminal charges. I am sad the boy was injured but if I was that dad I'd have probably done the same thing. A naked stranger in my daughters room should expect to get his ass kicked. So, the lesson here, kids, is introduce your boyfriends to your dad before you invite them over in the middle of the night for "activity."

ok, I am going to bed now. Alone. :0)~

Birthday Flowers

I got a billion flowers at my office for my bday this year. It was really cool. I took a few quick snapshots of them.

these are from my parents, so happy and cheerful. I love all the colors and they are flowers that will last a while. Yeah.
these are from a few people. The orange Gerber daisies are from Elida and Tom (co-workers) and the pink and purple flowers are from Cindy (my kindof boss)
And these I ended up bringing home b/c they have LOTS of smell and I was sneezy. Isn't it a cool arrangement. They are from my boss Jeannie.

Flowers are so fun. I had a great birthday. Thanks everyone. I am very excited about playing with my new gadget. :0)~

Stupid Batteries

So, sometimes I do something that really makes me question my brain cells. I have been trying to charge these batteries all summer. I charged them overnight, put them in the camera (my little point and shoot work camera) and it said the batteries are dead. So then I charged them all week. Same problem. Then I switched the outlet the charger was plugged into. Still they wouldn't charge. I took them home and tried again. I took them back to work. And then resorted to putting regular batteries in the camera as I needed to use it and the batteries have sat in the charger all month. THEN yesterday I realized they are not rechargeable batteries! Sometimes I am not too bright. But in my defense the batteries CAME with the camera and the camera came with the battery recharger SO wouldn't one assume the batteries would be rechargeable?

Just thinking...

This song came on and I remembered how much I like it - and jars of clay for that matter. I think I sometimes pretend I don't like them b/c they are so mainstream now, and fall into the lies of, "you can't like mainstream, if you like mainstream then you are not original" or some crap like that. I actually like more mainstream than I'd like to admit, but I still believe I am an original. But really, all that has nothing to do with the song. I like the song for its words. Christians can question God. Oh man, now Sixpences - Within A Room Somewhere just came on. Great song too. I really really like the Beautiful Mess CD. I'd consider it their best CD by far. Reminds me of Will and 1995. And fingerpainting and artistic expression...

Silence - Jars Of Clay

take, take 'til there's nothing
nothing to turn to
nothing when you get through
won't you break
scatter pieces of all i've been bowing to
all i've been running to
where are you?

did you leave me unbreakable?
leave me frozen?
i've never felt so cold
i thought you were silent
i thought you left me
for the wreckage and the waste
on an empty beach of faith
was it true?

yes, i got a question
where are you?

scream
deeper, i wanta scream
i want you to hear me
i want you to find me
i, i want to believe
but all i pray is wrong
and all i claim is gone

yes, i got a question
where are you?

A little trip to VA

Here are a few pics from my trip to VA last week. I didn't have the camera out much.
The four of us out at Starbucks. We went to Lynchberg to meet Dan for lunch and hang out. The parentals came too but dad is taking the picture. :0) What I didn't take a picture of and is right behind me in the pic is a weird mess of food-like substance that looked like a too ripe banana with guacamole poured on it. Oh it was disgusting.
Here's Dan as we were leaving. Notice the rope around his leg. Thats b/c his clutch doesn't work properly and once pushed in, doesn't come back out, so the rope is tied to the clutch and he pulls the rope with his knee to pull it back out. He actually drives fairly smoothly with his little set up. Hope he fixes it soon though.
One of Rachels more interesting baby shower presents. ha. don't worry, it was just a baby blanket inside.
Rachel and the cake my mom made. It was shaped like a baby carriage. In the picture she doesn't even look preggo. Black is quite slimming. Plus the baby is all out front.
And here's the little belly. Too cute I know. And check out mom's flower boxes behind her!

Well, thats all the pics for now. I might add more later but probably not as I doubt I'll get around to it. work, school, and life is a little busy right now. Not overwhelmingly busy but it's full.