Loved

I was reading one of my "friends" posts on myspace today and thought this was cool.

"Poignant reflectivenes serves many purposes. I suppose it brings me back to who I want to be. I remember that I am lost and then remember again I have been found. I remember I am an artist with gifts that are beautiful, and if they are only ever to be seen by one set of eyes I am still complete. I am loved not for what i do but for who I am. i am loved honestly, richly, wholly and I endeavor to reciprocate that and even (and especially) to those who do not love. Its difficult. But it is good. "

She is a wise women. Wonder if she's been reading "Captivating." I love her line, "I am loved honestly, richly, wholly." Its so true but so often I forget that. It's a good reminder.

Breathe

"But you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand...yeah breath
Just breathe, oh breathe"
Anna Nalick "Breathe"

I've been a little down the last couple days. There are many happy things in my life right now but with the happy comes the sad. In the next couple months some of my closest friends will be leaving Austin. One I've been friends with for 3,929 days and counting and others I've been good friends with for over 5 years. They are all going on to do righteous things and say they will come back to Austin in a year or so but a year seems like so long and what if they love being overseas and decide not to come back. Guess I should trust that God in his perfect knowledge and wisdom has the perfect plan for their lives and mine too. My head knows He does but my heart isn't feeling it at the moment. And then one of my friends was let go from his job friday and that brought up all kindof of sad feelings in me remembering the two times I was "let go." I felt like I was replaceable and unloved. I remember after the first time saying to myself, "I will always be replaceable, they can always find someone better to do your job. Don't try too hard, never give anyone your best. They will just use you." And year after year I try to work hard but in my heart I feel like I am holding something back. So my friend losing his job brought up all those feelings again. I hope he doesn't feel like I do. But tomorrow will be a better day and all will be ok, i trust.

The Liberty Way

I was reading some of the “Liberty Way” (the rules of the college my bro Dan will go to in August) and I am worried about how he will adjust. Dan is an outgoing 19 year old boy with his own car, no curfew, active social life, plays in a band or two, fun type guy. I’d consider him quite normal and well rounded. The Liberty Way I would consider not so normal. Liberty is a Baptist type Christian college with some extremely conservative views. You are fined $50 if you see an R rated movie (guess none of those kids were allowed to see the Passion). You are fined $250 and have to do 18 hours of disciplinary community service for “associating with someone who is consuming alcohol” (guess Dan can’t play any music in bars). A guy with hair touching his ears is fined $10 and gets 4 reprimands (doesn’t mention if hair is growing out of your ears :0). Staying out to 2AM gets you a $50 fine, missing curfew is $10 per ½ hour after curfew. Attending a dance is a $25 fine and 6 reprimands (guess square dancing or ballet is out). Hugging someone of the opposite sex is a $10 fine. Missing church is also a $10 fine. The $25 fine for entering the space above the ceiling tiles I thought was pretty funny. There just seems to be a lot of rules and many of them a little controlling and ridiculous. I just hope Dan doesn’t come out too brain washed. I think teaching a kid moral guidelines and right/wrong is a good thing but I think by the time a kid enters college it might be a little too late. And I feel like giving a kid that many rules in college is just going to teach him to find ways around the rules – which I guess might improve his critical thinking and help him in the real world. I also wonder who is profiting from all these fines they are collecting. Humm… I am trying to be positive about him going but its hard somedays. Luckily he is a strong kid and has his own views on the world already. I just want him to enjoy his college career and not have to worry if his hair is too long or his shirt is not tucked in or something. He’s a great kid and I don’t want to see his spirit broken.

Here's a link to the Liberty Way:
http://www.liberty.edu/StudentAffairs/index.cfm?PID=1333

Giving Blood

I think giving blood to save peoples lives is a great thing to do but the Blood Center calls me like all the time it seems. Yes, I know my blood is special but my lungs freeze up just thinking of giving blood. I do it anyway b/c I would feel guilty if someone died b/c of my fear of needles and blood leaking out of me. So, I'll probably pop a few iron pills to get my iron up and go give blood in the next few days. Atleast they give me cookies when I finish. I don't like their kool-aid through - its pretty gross. And the smell of the place makes my insides cold - probably since my insides do get cold while giving blood - its quite a weird feeling. I also hate all the questions they ask. Oh well, a little uncomfort on my part vs. someone dying b/c there was no blood available to save them. Guess I'll give blood. My mom always tells me she's proud of me for giving so that makes me feel special. :0)

A new hobby

Yes, I already have a herd of artist hobbies but my newest endeavor is sewing. I have been thinking about it for a while and went ahead and got a nice sewing machine off Ebay and started teaching myself after a little visit to JoAnn's fabric for some patterns and fabric. My first project - a hat and pair of pants for Geneva went well. Next I will tackle a little girls dress. I have some pretty flowery material that should work just groovy. Its kindof fun learning.

Geneva wearing one of my first sewing projects, a hat. 

Theology Quiz

So I was goofing around and found this quiz online. I'd say it was fairly accurate to my views. A few questions were over my head but it was interesting. I had to look up what "resistible grace" was. Here's what I found: "Resistible Grace – God’s call on a person’s life to be saved can be resisted and/or rejected. We can resist God’s pull towards salvation if we choose to." Ok. That makes sense - I would disagree with Resistible Grace. I think if God wants to save you - He's going to do it, you and your weakling little self is not going to be able to reject or resist the power of God. The whole "Universal Atonement" vs "Limited Atonement" I am a little unsure about though. Haven't studied the Bible enough to come to a thoughtout conclusion. So I'd say I mostly agree with TULIP (www.tulip.org)except for the "L" part which stands for "Limited Atonement" which I am still not positive about yet. Its cool to be a pretty flower though :0) Thankfully, I am saved no matter what conclusions I come to on the atonement thing. Woohoo.

You scored as Reformed Evangelical. You are a Reformed Evangelical. You take the Bible very seriously because it is God's Word. You most likely hold to TULIP and are sceptical about the possibilities of universal atonement or resistible grace. The most important thing the Church can do is make sure people hear how they can go to heaven when they die. Reformed Evangelical 75% Fundamentalist 71% Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 68% Emergent/Postmodern 57% Classical Liberal 39% Neo orthodox 36% Charismatic/Pentecostal 36% Modern Liberal 32% Roman Catholic 11% What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com

the digital age

Well, I have thought of doing a blog for a while but put it off figuring I'd just read other peoples and that would be all good. Then Jenni got a blog and I couldn't comment on it without having an account or something so here I am. I guess I've always though - why have a blog, I have a website and I can't seem to keep that updated. But then I figured I am more than just photography (my website and side business) so why not have a blog to play around with. Plus now I can leave comments on Jenni's blog. :0) So there you have my basic reasons for having a blog. Oh that and everyone else is doing it. ha-ha.