Breathe

"But you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand...yeah breath
Just breathe, oh breathe"
Anna Nalick "Breathe"

I've been a little down the last couple days. There are many happy things in my life right now but with the happy comes the sad. In the next couple months some of my closest friends will be leaving Austin. One I've been friends with for 3,929 days and counting and others I've been good friends with for over 5 years. They are all going on to do righteous things and say they will come back to Austin in a year or so but a year seems like so long and what if they love being overseas and decide not to come back. Guess I should trust that God in his perfect knowledge and wisdom has the perfect plan for their lives and mine too. My head knows He does but my heart isn't feeling it at the moment. And then one of my friends was let go from his job friday and that brought up all kindof of sad feelings in me remembering the two times I was "let go." I felt like I was replaceable and unloved. I remember after the first time saying to myself, "I will always be replaceable, they can always find someone better to do your job. Don't try too hard, never give anyone your best. They will just use you." And year after year I try to work hard but in my heart I feel like I am holding something back. So my friend losing his job brought up all those feelings again. I hope he doesn't feel like I do. But tomorrow will be a better day and all will be ok, i trust.