Loser

I am amazed at how much this has bothered me. We had a certificate design contest at work to make a HR service award certificate that people will get on their working anniversary. Originally I wasn't going to enter b/c I just didn't have the time to come up with a good concept and design it. But then a few co-workers and one of my bosses asked me to enter it so I did. They revealed the winner yesterday. I had figured out last week that I didn't win and honestly that really surprised me. I wasn't up against any other designers. And the other certificates were actually quite bad in my design opinion. So anyway, I lost. I thought about getting a shirt made that says, "I suck." but a few friends think that's a little too dramatic. But man, it sure knocked all my confidence and most of my self-worth right out the window. (yes, I know it shouldn't have.) I have learned that I am really sensitive lately. Small things really rattle me. I try to smile though it but I'd prefer to crawl under a rock. And its more than just the certificate design. I think I am just going through another period of feeling hurt by people. I think it's God's way of reminding me that I need Him, so unfortunately I can only expect to continue to feel hurt.

So here's the certificate that won. I really like the person that made it so atleast that's good. She's really nice and deserves the pizza party and $50 that she won. And her design is very corporate HR looking with our values listed and everything.

And here's my design. I was asked to do something non-traditional looking by my boss so I did. I don't think the HR world is ready for me. The little orange guy at the bottom is named HAP (happy androgynous person) and he's kind of become a joke around here as he's part of the HR logo and has to be plastered on everything. I didn't design him but like him ok. Well, atleast the certificate design helped me practice my Illustrator skills.


So, there you have it. I am not inspired to do much workwise. I have a bunch of design work but I have no inspiration. Guess I'll just make something crappy and they'll probably love it. That's just how it goes around here.