thoughts on a friday.

Let’s see, my brain is kindof swirly so I might not make a lot of sense. I was reading JR’s blog about a book he’s rereading by John Howard Yoder. It looks like an interesting book. Anyway his last paragraph was very thought provoking. It reads, “"What do I communicate to a [person] about the love of God by being willing to consider him an enemy? What do I say about personal responsibility by agreeing to consider him my enemy when it is only the hazard of birth that causes us to live under different flags? What do I say about forgiveness if I punish him for the sins of his rulers? How is it reconcilable with the gospel - good news - for the last word in my estimate of any man to be that, in a case of extreme conflict, it could be my duty to sacrifice his life for the sake of my nations, my security, or the political order which I prefer?" You’ll need to read the rest of the blog for this to make total sense (http://www.jrwoodward.net/jrwoodward/2007/10/an-excerpt-from.html) but I was like Whoa, those are some very interesting questions. I don’t have any definite answers. I have questioned before when thinking of the military and the war and all – why is it ok to kill people who are following their countries orders. What is a "just war." Does God say, "go kill people, that is my will." In the Bible he did, so I guess he might still do that.

I think I’ve become more of a pacifist in my older age. I watched Across the Universe a couple weeks ago and came away thinking about if there was anything I feel passionate enough about to really stand up for it and go protest for it or sacrifice my comfort or life for it. I had a hard time thinking of something. When I was younger I was all about being pro-life, I was against euthanasia. I felt more passionate about it. I am still against killing innocent people but I am not passionate anymore. I sometimes now struggle with thoughts of – this world is so corrupt is it right to even have children, and old people .. well, I don’t want to be kept alive if no one wants me or if I am not me anymore so is pulling the plug or helping someone die all that bad. But then I trust that God has everything under control. No one will be born or die outside of His will. I’ll rely on that. But then we get back to my place in this world – should I stand up for injustice. Well, yes. But how and will it really matter. I think about my compassion kid Andres. I send him $32 a month, a Christmas and birthday gift and some letters. I am helping one kid. Does it really matter? Well, it matters to Andres. So I will keep pressing on. I hope my actions make a difference and I pray I don’t get too comfortable where I am.

hummm

I know I worry and think too much. I then talk too much and say retarded things. I need to accept that my friends do actually like me and are not going to totally walk away. I also need to fully accept that even when I feel unvalued that I probably do in fact have value - people just might not express it how I'd like them too. I am also aware (contrary to popular belief) that the world does not revolve around me. Maybe I should look around at others lives more. I am also aware that boys are weird. They just think differently, process differently, need differently. Therefore I shall stamp them with the label of "weird." I'll try to accept them anyway. ok. thats all.

(this blog has nothing to do with SC by the way. it really doesn't.
also - I am really quite content and happy in a huge chunk of my life.)

Rockstar

I've had a bunch of calls lately to do photoshoots and one of the fun things is they are all quite different - engagements, kids, pregnant, live music, and rockstars. :0) Monday I photographed Jonathan the rockstar - he's actually really down to earth and a nice guy. I photographed him when he was 15 or so and now he's all grown up and 20. Crazy. He's from Houston and wanted me to shoot him so he came to Austin. So that was cool. He was with a label for a while and they had done some crazy rockstar pics last year but now he is looking for another label and wanted some pictures that were more him. Was cool to step out of my normal stuff and do this. He could probably model if he wanted to but he's pretty focused on his music. He's quite slim and REALLY muscly for being so slim so that was actually a little challenging to get the angles right with his body so that the chest muscles looked right and the arms weren't too thin. Anyway, here are a few of my favorites from the shoot - yes, I played in photoshop with a few.

i really liked this location with the textures and then added a bunch of noise in photoshop. think it works?
more of a tight headshot. trying to accent the eyes and jaw line.
this one looks a little too ad like or something but I liked it. what do you think of the door behind him?
this was in between settings but liked the lines and expression. I desaturated it some and played with the contrast.yes, he can smile and has great teeth. they really are that white. i liked the almost playful eyes and smile. I was probably saying something retarded to get the real smile out of him. :0)~

music and thinking

I've had a week of music related experiences. Which ofcourse makes me think alot as thats what music does to me. So Tuesday the new Plumb album came out. It's one inspired by her kids so its kindof a soft lullaby kindof album that I can relate to on one level (i would like to be a mom one day) but on another I don't really (i don't have kids). But its a good album and I really like the song "In my Arms"-- "Storybooks are full of fairytales, of kings and queens and bluest skies, but my heart is torn just in knowing you'll someday see the truth from lies, when the castles they might crumble, dreams may not come true, but you are never all alone cause I will always always love you." It's just so sweet and so true.

Buddy Quaid Band also has their new album out which I just got thursday at the show. It took them forever to get it out and they haven't played in about a year out so it was good to see them. The album is good. Most of the songs are relationship related and mainly broken relationships. Thats where he was while writing them I guess. I really like "Trail of Tears" which was written by JJ and Buddy, it has a really good bass line. Its about a girl leaving him and wanting her to come back to him, which he writes alot about. Losing a girl, wanting her back, promises, broken promises, ended relationships, shallow relationships. I find his lyrics interesting b/c it feels like he writes with his guard down most of the time. I like the song "Tonight" also even if it is a little scandalous. And "Over You" has lots of great texture. They have added keyboard now also which I thought I would hate but it really adds to the sound and makes it more full. Musically I think they have grown quite a bit this year. I am glad JJ is still playing with them.

Thursday Buddy Quaid played and then Stereovolt. Ya know how I love Stereovolt. Their musical skills are ridiculous and I've been digging more into their lyrics and also getting to know Chris Beall (the main songwriter and lead singer) better which has been enjoyable. He plays some as a solo act more of a bluesy folk sound. He has a song "Most of the Time" that I really like. Not so much for the music but for the lyrics. Its just real. You should check it out: http://www.myspace.com/beallstreetmusic

Then last night I went to Rocktoberfest out in Manor that Thomas (RRSB) was playing at along with a bunch of other bands. Was a good set. They didn't play "This Love" which I really like, but thats a more serious slower song and they were doing mostly more upbeat stuff. Some of the other bands were good also, a wide mix of styles, country, jam, reggae, and the night ended with Russian Rock. Interesting. Was really good to catch up with Thomas, I feel like I haven't really talked with him in a while and often have a million things to tell him about and questions to ask. I doubt he realizes how much I value him and his friendship. Was a good evening, and nice to relax after doing homework and laundry all day.

Thomas had the quote of the day: "Nobody drinks straight rum, except for pirates." :0)
Buddy went to get me a drink Thursday and I had asked for rum and coke, I think what he brought back was pretty much straight rum and ice. Tasted horrible and I didn't realize the kick it had until I had slurped about 2 ounces of it and the world was being to spin. I was fine but felt I had to REALLY think about walking and that isn't usually a good thing. Now thats a scoopsy. :0)~

Well, I think thats about it for now.

Design Classes

Well, I am about 6 weeks into the semester and school is going pretty good even though I feel like I am always working on homework and stuff. I got a little behind being out for over a week with my VA/NY trip but I am caught up now which is pretty amazing. I did my first real project for Digital Imaging this week and got a 100 - which I wasn't expecting. Esp since I turned it in a day late due to being out. So, here it is for your viewing pleasure. Turned out pretty good. I see a few mistakes but oh well. I should have named her "sassy percussion girl" 'cuz she sure has some attitude. :0)~

A few wedding pics

So, here are just a few of the photographs of Rachel and Travis' wedding. I'll be working on them for the next month or so. It was so cool to see them so happy. They are back from their honeymoon and had a blast. Looking forward to seeing them again at Christmas. Yeah!

I loved the narrow depth of field on this one.

This was out in a field across from Travis' parents house. They got married on the back deck overlooking the lake. She was as always so pretty. I liked how her veil was being blown by the breeze.So, here's the whole family. Don't look too carefully, I had to move Mike, Kayli, and Kristi over b/c they were standing like a million miles away. I wish Dan had a jacket or colored shirt on but oh well, he still looks fine. Just a lot of white for a 6'3" guy (he's not standing up straight!).
I thought this closeup was cute. I was trying to crack jokes. :0) Dan had the best (worse) one, I'll have to tell you sometime.
Travis with his million dollar smile. :0)
Goofing around in the field. Travis was holding the flowers.
How's that for a view! yikes. I might clean up the dock a little but it was a really pretty place for a wedding.
Little sunny but was a pretty background so I made them stand there. :0)
First dance. Doesn't she look happy. awww... too sweet. They are really too precious together.
And here's dan and jen -- his new official girlfriend. He hasn't had an official girlfriend in years so I was a little surprised calendar boy would settle down and have one. She is really nice though and we enjoyed meeting her.

Kelly's deep thought

"deep thought: if your trough sink ALREADY has soap it, then it just might be a urinal sink"
-kelly liao

oh my! :0)

friend

i've been thinking again and can't seem to sort this all out. i think we are friends. and i know friends go through busier and less busy times of life (unless you are my psycho busy friend whose life never slows down, which you aren't b/c that friend has no time for blog reading). anyway. so, you've pulled away, or so it seems. you say you are busy, have to work, need to go grocery shopping... yes, i know. i need to do those things too. but i'll find time for you. guess thats one of our differences. and its ok. really. but what makes people friends. i keep coming back to something a friend said years ago, they said you have to have common interests, if you don't have common interests than there is no point in being friends. so i try to find common interests. its probably dumb. and yes recently i was questioned on this standard. but it kindof makes sense. without common interests why would we be friends. what would bring us together. so yes, we do have a few common interests. but is that enough. should i expend much energy on this friendship. we used to enjoy each others company. but i am tired of looking back too far. i find you very guarded in most areas of your heart. you seem broken often. i used to think i could help fix you. i can't and i don't think i am suppose to do that. its not my role in your life. but i feel some kind of battle with you. you want me to know you but at the same time you don't want me to. i guess i do that too in my life with certain friends. i want you to be happy. to be well. i'd like to be your friend. guess i just need to be patient and wait. i'll just eat another meal out of a box. its ok. i wish you well.

one whirlwind of a trip

so, I have finally returned to TX. I've traveled by car, train, subway, taxi, and plane. its been an adventure. Rachels wedding went great. they were so happy and goofy and in love. they were totally adorable and that was lots of fun. Plus after Friday night rehearsal dinner at TX Land and Cattle (yes, how crazy is that) Travis is my favorite brother-in-law. Ok, he is my only brother in law. But he traded steaks with me, giving me his perfectly cooked medium massively thick steak and taking my thin medium-well steak (i had ordered a 6oz filet cut thick cooked medium). The place was struggling to get the orders right and screwed up most everyones in some way - guess its hard to get a good Texas steak outside of Texas. So that might have been the highlight of my weekend. he-he. The wedding saturday was beautiful and the weather was perfect. Both my brothers made it so that was a blessing. That was the only time I saw my brother Mike and his family. Kayli is talking more which is good. So the Sunday after the wedding B and I drove back to Virginia, stopping off to see brother dan at Liberty on the way back. he lives on a farm in a house with 6 other boys. yikes, that was scary. I sure didn't want to sit down for fear the couch might move. we stood outside talking for a while and then went for pizza. and if you read Blancas blog you know what happened after that. :0) crazy. oh, another crazy thing. Dan works alot of the big concerts that come through Virginia and we worked the Bob Dylan show the week before. I forgot to ask if he actually met Dylan or not. I am doubting it but he often meets the bands. anyway, I guess Dylan did a pretty bad show similar to ACL but oh well. So then we headed to NYC by train on tuesday. I am glad we trained instead of drove b/c we were both pretty worn out and me driving back from NY by myself would have been challenging. I slept about half way up to NY and 2/3 of the way back. Didn't sleep well while there but had fun. Not sure what my favorite thing was. Maybe going to eat lunch at Serendipity with Blanca. Was just a special time. Oh and we had a dessert called Strawberry Fields Sundae (yes, named after the Beatles song). It was massive. Had a big piece of cheesecake then covered with 3 scoops of strawberry ice cream and strawberry syrup, and strawberries, and whip cream. B and I split it and still only ate about 1/2 of it. It was literally as big as your head! And then Wednesday night we went to see Damien Jurado or however you spell it. B really liked that. It was a nice show. Intimate. Very soothing. So much I almost feel asleep though. Was good though and before the show Renee, B, and I got to talk a bunch. And Thursday night Renee and I went to see Spring Awakening on Broadway. My first Broadway play. Great music. Was good. A little more scandalous than I normally see but interesting. I am still analyzing some of the deeper parts of it. One of the more interesting lines was, "shame is not from sin, shame is from over education." hummm... Oh and walking around NY was cool. I got tired quickly but held up better than last year in Europe. I thought NY was cool to visit but I wouldn't live there. Just too fast for me. So after NY I had a day and a half with my parents. We went to the Fiber Festival -- not fiber like what old people take but fiber like sheep, and lamas, alpacas, rabbits, etc... they had a bunch of crafters selling yarn and all that and then they had sheep dog trials where the dogs would round up sheep and make them go through a course in the field. Was cool. Oh and they were shearing sheep. oh yea, Virginia! We really aren't as country as all that sounds. he-he. Well, I better stop writing before this gets to be a Ursula lenght blog! So, yep, good trip and had lots of fun with B. I think my parents want to adopt her. They thought she was the sweetest thing ever. She is quite sweet and was nice to travel with someone as laid back as she is. Even when we got on the wrong subway she was totally cool. ok, off to bed. yea for MY bed. :0)