thoughts on a friday.

Let’s see, my brain is kindof swirly so I might not make a lot of sense. I was reading JR’s blog about a book he’s rereading by John Howard Yoder. It looks like an interesting book. Anyway his last paragraph was very thought provoking. It reads, “"What do I communicate to a [person] about the love of God by being willing to consider him an enemy? What do I say about personal responsibility by agreeing to consider him my enemy when it is only the hazard of birth that causes us to live under different flags? What do I say about forgiveness if I punish him for the sins of his rulers? How is it reconcilable with the gospel - good news - for the last word in my estimate of any man to be that, in a case of extreme conflict, it could be my duty to sacrifice his life for the sake of my nations, my security, or the political order which I prefer?" You’ll need to read the rest of the blog for this to make total sense (http://www.jrwoodward.net/jrwoodward/2007/10/an-excerpt-from.html) but I was like Whoa, those are some very interesting questions. I don’t have any definite answers. I have questioned before when thinking of the military and the war and all – why is it ok to kill people who are following their countries orders. What is a "just war." Does God say, "go kill people, that is my will." In the Bible he did, so I guess he might still do that.

I think I’ve become more of a pacifist in my older age. I watched Across the Universe a couple weeks ago and came away thinking about if there was anything I feel passionate enough about to really stand up for it and go protest for it or sacrifice my comfort or life for it. I had a hard time thinking of something. When I was younger I was all about being pro-life, I was against euthanasia. I felt more passionate about it. I am still against killing innocent people but I am not passionate anymore. I sometimes now struggle with thoughts of – this world is so corrupt is it right to even have children, and old people .. well, I don’t want to be kept alive if no one wants me or if I am not me anymore so is pulling the plug or helping someone die all that bad. But then I trust that God has everything under control. No one will be born or die outside of His will. I’ll rely on that. But then we get back to my place in this world – should I stand up for injustice. Well, yes. But how and will it really matter. I think about my compassion kid Andres. I send him $32 a month, a Christmas and birthday gift and some letters. I am helping one kid. Does it really matter? Well, it matters to Andres. So I will keep pressing on. I hope my actions make a difference and I pray I don’t get too comfortable where I am.