Singleness

Liz forwarded an article last week about singleness that was quite good. You can read the whole thing at http://www.pcpc.org/ministries/singles/singledout.asp if you want to. A few things stood out to me. First that I have at some point heard, believed, and even repeated most of these “lies” about singleness. If I hear the first one one more time there is a high probability I will barf on the person. And the second one. I decided a few years ago I'd rather stay single then marry an idiot -- I am sticking to that- ok. I don't think it's picky. I think it's practical. I mean really, this guy could be the father of my children! Yikes!

So here are the "lies"
Warped theology is at the heart of attempts to "explain" singleness:
• "As soon as you’re satisfied with God alone, he’ll bring someone special into your life”—as though God’s blessings are ever earned by our contentment.
• "You’re too picky”—as though God is frustrated by our fickle whims and needs broader parameters in which to work.
• "As a single you can commit yourself wholeheartedly to the Lord’s work”—as though God requires emotional martyrs to do his work, of which marriage must be no part.
• "Before you can marry someone wonderful, the Lord has to make you someone wonderful"—as though God grants marriage as a second blessing to the satisfactorily sanctified.

I also thought this quote was really good.
“I am not single because I am too spiritually unstable to possibly deserve a husband, nor because I am too spiritually mature to possibly need one. I am single because God is so abundantly good to me, because this is his best for me. It is a cosmic impossibility that anything could be better for me right now than being single, The psalmists confirm that I should not want, I shall not want, because no good thing will God withhold from me.”

Yikes. I can not even tell you how many times I have believed I am not righteous enough or something for a husband and am being punished for my lack of faith or something. This was on my mind a lot more in my early 20's when everyone around me was getting married and I couldn't even get a date for Friday night. Ofcourse at that point in my life I had totally bought into the whole non-dating/only courting Christian crap that was going around and I pretty much shunned boys. So glad THAT stage of my life is over but I part of me feels that stage made me disabled and almost un-datable now. Ok - I know I am dateable and I am really enjoying this stage of singleness in general. And I am really thankful God did not have me marry young as I am not the same person I was 10 years ago. Wacky.

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edit: :0)

so after I posted this and told someone I posted a new blog and its not negative - they commented after reading it that it was - so I figure I didn't get my point across. It wasn't meant to be negative about singleness or boys or anything. I thought I was saying I have believed those lies about singleness before, but I don't believe them now and know that God has my best interest in mind and is not holding any good thing back from me. I am not single b/c I did or didn't do something for Him. That's pretty much what I was saying. :0)